Dissapearing Steps

Some things disappear as you move forward. Like childhood. It's inevitable, but once you begin to grow, childhood is gone. Swinging nonchalantly on a swing in the backyard, watching the sunset, eating Popsicles in the still warm heat of Summer, it's all gone as new factors in your life begin to appear. Like college, or work, or marriage.

Tonight I'm climbing a long set of stairs. The stairs are made of dull gray worn out stones, and I am climbing up to a tower made up of the same material. The tower, the stairs, everything is in the middle of big ocean, black because of the dark sky above. Clouds continually hammer rain onto my shoulders, stinging my eyes and making it all the more harder to breathe. Thunder booms every now and then, often times right beside me, frightening me out of my wits.

Each time I take a step, the step behind me cracks and falls down to the ocean with a large splash that always makes me jump. My whole body shivering with the rain, I am forced to keep on moving, and I can not linger on the past steps because they are now gone. Nor can I remain too long on the same step, for it grows weak after a period of time and it begins to shift and crack, forcing me to take another agonizing step.

With each step I take, I look up at the tower I will someday be in. It seems so far. Miles away. And my legs are so tired. I don't want to walk anymore. I look down at the ledge where the step behind me used to be. All I see is vast ocean water, churning with rain and waves that carry everything away. Quick thoughts of jumping into the ocean pass through my head. If I jumped in, the waves would peacefully carry me off and I wouldn't have to worry about ever taking another step.

I am about to jump, my feet so close to the ledge I can almost feel the tranquility of the ocean running through my veins. Then, I stare upwards at the tower. It gleams with such magnificence. It rises tall above the ocean, pronouncing its power, its might. If I jump, I will never know what is up in that tower. I will never feel the success of being up there and staring out of that window. That window which lofts high above everything else in the world. Few people have ever looked out of that window, and if I jump into the ocean, I never will.

I turn back around to where the next step is and lift my foot, my entire body tiring, telling me to stop, but my will to continue takes over. I take another step...